Anna nicole smith skyscraper outtakes12/7/2023 ![]() You know that nobody was going to give her a real shot, so they figured, hey, might as well exploit and discard her.įull of absolutely bizarre characters, laugh-out-loud plot developments, and a rogue helicopter pilot who wishes she could be creating a registry at Babies ‘R Us instead of shooting people, Skyscraper is weirdly fun. As I was skipping the video forward during these random scenes, I genuinely felt bad for Smith. My only complaint is that, probably like the rest of Smith’s movies, Skyscraper creates unlikely opportunities to get her undressed. Multinational terrorist group? Helicopter gets blown up? Hero falls off the building on a line, kicks in a window, and has to untie before they get dragged down? Computer systems that lock up a building tight? C4 explosives that blows out a floor? A failed SWAT incursion? Good guys crawling in air ducts? A turncoat who tries to turn our hero? Desk jockey who gets a big heroic shooting moment? Bad guy who falls screaming to his death? It’s all here. There are so many deliberate Die Hard copycat moments that you can probably make a bingo sheet out of spotting them. It’s all awful in the right way, where you can laugh and point and generally feel superior. The editing tries to do what it can, but there’s no auto-tune for terrible acting. Smith is in so over her head in this role, so bad that she can’t even handle mild interactions without flubbing it. They’re the sort of undisciplined outfit that’s probably the right skill level for Carrie, whose face tells me that she’s channeling medium constipation as she kills a bunch of human beings. They’re all led by Fairfax, a grinning South African loon who constantly quotes Shakespeare - because that sort of thing makes you a deep villain, don’t you know. This casting director went completely nuts here, because we get Fabio (or a close enough substitute), a martial arts expert, a Jamaican, a guy who absolutely loves his rocket launcher, a hippie Frenchman, a guy with flowing locks of silver hair, and a woman in leather. So let’s talk about our villains, because they are glorious. By the time she gets to the titular skyscraper, she decides that it’s probably better to fight them than get a tip. I can’t imagine John McClane giving a lift to Hans Gruber while ignoring all of the blood stains and sinister grins, but that’s what you get when you use a Groupon on air travel.Īnyway, eventually Carrie is clued in to the fact that these terrorists are actually bad and are trying to assemble some sort of powerful weapons system. You’re not really going to be impressed with Carrie’s read of the room, because she spends the first part of the movie flying the bad guys around and doesn’t realize it - even though her husband talked about them earlier. You as a viewer better be very invested in her obsession with babies, because it’s going to make all the difference whether you connect with Carrie or not. Anyway, her being married is part of a running joke that Carrie really wants a baby. I had to pause the film when I heard that, because I always thought that every action hero star was a required to be single by Movie Law. Smith plays as the adorably named Carrie Winks, a helicopter transport pilot who’s actually married to a cop named Gordy. ![]() Somewhere along the way she was convinced she could act, so why not aim high by taking out terrorists with pluck and verve? Skyscraper was an effort to prop up the struggling acting career of Anna Nicole Smith, whose entire legacy was being in Playboy, marrying a very old guy, and getting in legal battles over money. ![]() There’s really no way that she would’ve been any worse than Bruce Willis sleepwalking through the fifth movie.) (For my money, I wish that Hollywood had made Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s Lucy McClane the star of Die Hard 5, because she showed a gritty spark in Die Hard 4 that I quite liked. Scratch that - a good female Die Hard, as we got an attempt in 1996 with Skyscraper. Justin’s review: Considering the flood of Die Hard knock-offs that followed the 1988 classic, it’s kind of surprising that nobody ever made a female Die Hard. Justin’s rating: This movie needs to be handed a bathrobe and a lesson on modesty “See, that’s why you don’t want to have a baby - you’re married to the police department, not me!”
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